African man sitting in armchair with popcorn and remote control

Hello Shirley and Steve, 


I'm frustrated with myself and I need some advice from the best.  I recently ended a dramatic relationship with a 30-year-old.  I am thirty seven.  This man in the beginning was the greatest and worshipped the ground I walked on until a month into the relationship.  He claimed to work in sales and was living with his brother.  He claimed to have a traumatic childhood with a drug addicted mother and obsessed father.  He claimed to adore his grandparents and was their caretaker.  He claimed his mother was found dead a couple of months ago.  He claimed to be the most loyal man on earth.  This man turned out to be a pathological liar I have ever met.  He is worse than my ex husband and makes him look like a saint.  He claimed his father lived in Atlanta as a corporate giant.  Anyway he is scum of the earth.  He lives with his father in Birmingham, AL and has been unemployed for years.  Has nothing in his name including his cellphone.  Has a felony record, uses religion to his advantage and uses a baby momma to get sympathy and pleasure from women.  He was like a disease I could not get rid of.  He was slowly trying to move in my house and claiming illnesses he did not have.  I found out his mother is alive.  His grandmother speaks nothing but shame about him.  I am a bit frustrated as he is on every dating website claiming to be a good, loyal man.  I don't want to make this mistake ever again!  So what would have been the clues that I was dealing with a psychopath?  In addition to licking his lips constantly and nosebleeds I suspected drug abuse but could never prove it.  What advice is there for me and other women when dealing with deceptive men?  


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